Nick Cannon’s $10m testicles

IS THIS THE BEN-D?

Hello and welcome to The Shock Exchange. Now, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez haven’t announced they’ve split but… put it this way. He just turned up to an event with his mother as his plus-one.

The married stars arrived separately at his son Samuel’s graduation and didn’t sit together or appear to interact in any way. And it probably wasn’t a good sign that on Sunday he spent just four hours at the $60m marital home that they are reportedly selling.

But are they giving the press the satisfaction of saying one way or the other what’s going on? No they absolutely are not!

WHO’S HOT, WHO’S NOT

▲ Matty Healy - Taylor Swift’s ex is engaged after nine months

▲ Leonardo CiCaprio - Kate Winslet says kissing him ‘isn’t all it’s cracked up to be’

▲ Shiloh Jolie-Pitt - drops dad Brad’s name days after turning 18

▼ Billy-Ray Cyrus - files to annul marriage after seven months

▼ Oprah Winfrey - hospitalized with “very serious” illness

▼ Goldie Hawn - terrified after her home robbed twice

▼ CRUEL SUMMER

What do you get when the sunshine bandwagon of Taylor Swift met the icy temperatures of Scotland. Well, according to some fans the answer is… bogies.

The singer was accused of wiping boogers from her nose and then smearing them on her skimpy outfits as she performed at Murrayfield in 48F temperatures. Ewwww, as they say in Edinburgh.

The star, who at one point pulled on a pair of gloves, told fans: “My hand is frozen, I’m just going to warm it. I’m so embarrassed. My hand’s like a claw!” Get this girl Apple Weather immediately.

▼ PRINCE OF FAILS

Prince Harry’s fed up with royal drama. Which, given his book specialized in little but royal drama, is a bit like Kim Kardashian being fed up of private jets and pictures of her backside.

The reason, say insiders, is that he’s both simultaneously failed to crack America’s A-list with Meghan - while his friendships in the UK (see last week’s Duke of Westminster wedding, which he failed to attend) drained away.

One claimed: "Things haven't exactly panned out as they'd hoped, Harry wonders whether it was such a good idea to leave the UK and everything he knew to move to the States."

▲ CANNON BALLS

TV star Nick Cannon has taken out a $10million insurance policy… on his balls.

It could be money well spent. He already has TWELVE kids and famously welcomed five with five different women in one year and is father of Mariah Carey’s twins.

He said in a genuinely bizarre statement: “Haters say it’s time for me to stop having kids and put this super sperm to rest, but I’m doubling down on these valuable balls and my future kids.”

Q: POP QUIZ

Rob Schneider’s takedown of Will Smith may enter Hollywood’s hall of insults fame after a particularly sweary radio interview this week.

But can you tell us which of these rude statements did Rob not sling at the Men in Black star?

A. “Will Smith is a twat.”

B. “Will Smith is a douchebag”

C. “He really is an a**hole

D. “He's a liar.”

E. “He's a complete, utter fraud.”

▼ SPACEY IN TEARS

Kevin Spacey once owned a string of homes all over the world but the Usual Suspects actor this week broke down in tears and insisted he was broke.

The star - who was found not guilty of sexual assault charges but admitted “being too handsy” - said his Baltimore home was being sold at auction.

Spacey, who owes millions in legal bills from his cases, said sadly: “I’m not quite sure where I’m going to live now.”

▲ STRANGERS THINGS

“Do you want to go and see the most boring film of the year?” isn’t the most enticing prospect - but, weirdly, a cheapo new horror is absolutely raking in cash.

The Strangers: Chapter 1 (sample review: “unpleasant and depressing”) is on track to be one of the season’s most profitable films having made $37.5m on a budget of about $1.99.

In fact, relative to how much it cost, the tale of two people who wind up in a creepy house in the countryside is putting Dune 2 in the shade. Get a ticket! Walk out in boredom minutes later! Everyone’s doing it!

▼ KAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?

Kanye West is not a billionaire any more but you still don’t expect to come out of the economy bathroom to find Yeezy himself slumped upright with the seatbelt loosely fastened around his waist.

And just incase anyone thought: “That absolutely can’t be Kanye in the cheap seats” he handily wore a tracksuit monogrammed with Ye. And another clue?

His unmissable wife Bianca Censori was beside him.

A: POP QUIZ

So which of that absolute volley of abuse did Rob, who it’s worth saying is good friends with Will Smith slapping victim Chris Rock, actually say?

Well, we’re afraid to say we tricked you. He said the lot!

Will has not responded, though surely his slapping hand is just twitching to be used after that!

UNDER THE RADAR

Here’s some other stories you might have missed this week…

• Miley Cyrus only likes to hang out with one person in the world

• Songwriter behind Elvis Presley’s biggest hits dies aged 83

• Liza Minnelli reveals she cried non-stop for nine days

• Hailey Bieber reveals painful new pregnancy symptom

• Kathy Griffin unable to speak for two weeks after surgery