Kim Kardashian’s rib riddle

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KIM’S WAISTING AWAY

Hello and welcome to The Shock Exchange in the week that America’s premier look-at-me fest the Met Gala delivered yet another wacko Kim Kardashian outfit.

The star turned up vacuum-packed to within an inch of her life in an outfit that squeezed her waist so small that some reckoned she’d had a rib removed to get into it.

Indeed, many fans worried Kim - who described breathing in the thing as “an art form” - was about to pass out. One claimed they were calling 911, insisting: “This woman’s organs are not OK.”

Enjoy this weeks entertainment buzz.

JD & Mikey (creators of The Shock Exchange)

WHO’S HOT, WHO’S NOT

▲ Stormy Daniels - adult film star testifies against Donald Trump

▲ Susan Buckner - Grease star who played Patty dies aged 72

▲ Emily Ratajkowski - see-through dress has everyone talking

▼ Steve Albini - American indie music giant dies aged 61

▼ Bridget Moynahan - seen after being targeted in Brady roast

▼ Zendaya - fans go nuts over her Met Gala triple-dress switch

▲ I JUST MET YOU

Our prize for Met Gala entrance of the night goes to movie star Michael Shannon - who dramatically upstaged Shakira just by wandering past her on the red carpet with a giant bag of potato chips.

As one onlooker inevitably remarked: “The chips don’t lie.”

However, even better than the bright yellow packet and I-don’t-care attitude was his casual reply to all the fawning reporters. “Hi, it’s me,” he said. “I can’t talk, I don’t have anything to say.”

▼ OH, BROTHER!

Prepare to say ‘ewwww’ with the force of a thousand sons. Khloe Kardashian has explained she feared that the real father of her son Tatum was… her brother.

Let us explain. Khloe and Tristan Thompson had their youngest child via a surrogate but she couldn’t stop thinking the child looked like Rob Kardashian, her younger brother.

Khloe explained: “I was like ‘Rob, have you ever donated sperm somewhere?” I made Tristan do three DNA tests for Tatum. He was so offended. In this family, that would not surprise me, but that would be so disgusting.” Correct.

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▼ HELL FOR GISELE

Tom Brady’s comedy roast might have been just for jokes, but his ex Gisele Bundchen wasn’t laughing. In fact she was said to be “deeply disappointed” by the content.

Why? Well, a string of jokes about her relationship with jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente, who she met before splitting up from Tom, probably didn’t help.

Here’s one from Kevin Hart, riffing on how Brady “f***ed” coach Bill Belichick by leaving the New England Patriots. “Sometimes, you gotta f*** your coach,” he said. “You know who else f***ed their coach? Gisele. She f***ed that karate man.”

Q: POP QUIZ

Hollywood stars come in all sizes - from 5ft7in Tom Cruise to this lot. But which actor in this line-up is the tallest?

Zac Efron

Liam Neeson

Johnny Depp

Chris Hemsworth

Scroll down for the answer 👇👇👇

▲ I’LL MAKE YOU PAY, TAY

Taylor Swift’s ex Matty Healey is wisely staying quiet after she devoted a large chunk of her new album to singing about their relationship.

However, the same can’t be said for his mum, Denise Welch, who appears on a The View-like program in the UK. She recently addressed the drama saying: “I wasn’t aware she had an album out at all. I haven’t heard anything about it.”

Now she’s also been caught liking a video slating her music titled “Every Taylor Swift Song ever” which mocks her with lyrics including: “Now I think we never really should have broke up, and now I’m really sad that we did.”

▼ MISSING THE MARKLE

Prince Harry is back in the UK minus Meghan Markle - so which members of his family are lining up to welcome him back?

Well, erm, you probably don’t need those crash barriers, lads. Prince William is a no-go. And his dad King Charles insisted he was far too busy to see him.

What’s so pressing you can’t see your youngest son? Well, he had an urgent engagement hosting a garden party at Buckingham Palace. I think that’s what you call a royal middle finger.

▲ VAN DER PUMPED UP

Finally, we can’t let this week pass without noting the finale of Vanderpump Rules, which has left fans in a state of shock - but things were even more dramatic offscreen.

The uncensored version of the season 11 finale includes a deleted scene of a glass-breaking fight while cameras were rolling.

A man and a security guard got in a bust-up with a vase getting smashed and wine being hurled in the direction of Tom Sandoval. Maybe it should be called Vanderpump Brawls.

A: POP QUIZ

OK here’s how tall these Hollywood stars are - from most skyscraper-like to least. They are:

Zac Efron 5ft 6in

Johnny Depp 5ft 9in

Chris Hemsworth 6ft 3in

Liam Neeson 6ft 4in

UNDER THE RADAR

Here’s some other stories you might have missed this week…

• Movie star Hilary Duff welcomes her fourth child aged 36

• Travis Kelce has a new job - he’s landed a part in an FX series

• Kanye West appears to pull the plug on his adult entertainment empire

• 50 Cent suing his ex and mother of his son, Daphne Joy Narvaez

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